Leona's Brain Candy

Here is a sample copy of my newsletter, Leonasbraincandy. My goal is to send it out weekly, but my health often prevents that. I send it out as often as I can, with wishes that it makes your day brighter.

If you would like to subscribe to leonasbraincandy, please send an email to leonasbraincandy@leonashappyplace.com . with the word subscribe in the subject line.

LEONA’S BRAIN CANDY A treat for your brain Meant to make you smile Unsubscribe directions at bottom 060820
Riddle /		Brain Teaser
A house with two occupants, sometimes one, rarely three. Break the walls, eat the boarders, then throw away me. What am I? *****************/		A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis: The Wife said she was sleeping. The Cook was cooking breakfast. The Gardener was picking vegetables. The Maid was getting the mail. The Butler was cleaning the closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know? *****************/
Say What ??		Latin Corner
Allow somnolent quadrupeds that are homo sapien's greatest comrades to remain reclining. *****************/		Optimus magister, bonus liber *****************/
Funny Web page http://www.leonashappyplace.com/two_nuts.htm ********************************************** QUOTES I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes." At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make." Aspire to inspire before you expire. My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine. Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. The irony of life is that, by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere. I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. "I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say." ************* Joke `from jerry lermans newsletter` `Water On The Brain` `Bonehead award one, a "government as good as it gets" bonehead award,` `goes to the city of Aliso, California, for scheduling a city` `council vote meant to ban the use of any product by the city that is` `made with or contains water, believing water to be a dangerous and` `toxic substance.` `Seems the esteemed members of the city government were panicked by` `some spoof Internet website [perhaps http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html)` `which calls for the banning of DHMO (Dihydrodgen Monoxide) while` `listing all its dangers. Dihydrodgen Monoxide is the scientific name` `for water. Dangers listed at the site include:` `- Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO [Drowning]` `- Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.` `[Frostbite]` `- Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not` `typically life-threatening side-effects.[excessive urination]` `- DHMO is a major component of acid rain.` `- Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns. [Steam]` `- Contributes to soil erosion.` `- Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals. [Rust]` `- Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.` `- Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.` `- Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions. [All cells` `contain water]` `- Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and` `elsewhere. [Severe weather/ hail/ rain]` `- Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El` `Nino weather effect.[warm/ cold oceans]` `"It's embarrassing," said City Manager David J. Norman.` `Even more so now, huh, David?` `ABC Channel 13 (Houston,` `TX)` `15-Mar-04` `http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/news/bizarre/031504_APsn_chemical.html` *********************** The editor speaks Again, apologies for missing so many issues. I was extremely ill with an infection. Then I changed over to People pc, which is better for my web surfing, but not compatible with my newsletter program. So I am now sending this newsletter through 1and1, the site that hosts www.leonashappyplace.com. The support staff there has been very friendly and very helpful as I made the change. I am working towards big changes in the website. I hope to add twenty or more new fun pages over the next few weeks. I will also add new stories. I am also making a sister site on Chronic fatigue. May of you know that I started this newsletter as a way to reach out and bring cheer to other disabled people like myself. In the last few years I’ve seen much misinformation on Chronic Fatigue. Most of the accurate sites emphasize those who are so sick they cannot even lift their heads from their beds. I want to make a site that honestly looks at Chronic Fatigue for the person who still can do some things. I also hope to help relatives and friends understand what the disease really is, in simple layman’s terms. I will be adding Google Adsense to both sites, as I need to have them start paying for themselves. The way it works is that I will get paid every time someone clicks on an ad and visits the advertiser’s site. You don’t have to buy anything for me to get paid, just look at their page for about 60 seconds (I don’t know how long, I am guessing.) On the personal level, Jay and I have both faced some very serious health challenges, but we are doing much better now. The tomatoes, melons, and cucumbers Jay planted upside down in the buckets didn’t do nearly as well as those in the ground. It might work if you had no place to plant them, but I think they would grow better right side up. Killer, our female Chihuahua, is pregnant with her second litter. She is due in a week or two, and she is round and acts very loving. ******************************************* Limerick Submitted By: Your Web Form I was called by a fish in the sea. He called out to my dog and me. That came as a shock! Didn't know fish could talk And my dog said "Hey Neither did we!" ********************** FWD Deer Sir, I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting. I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole Really seam to respond to me belly well. I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited. I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru My persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to Pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. . Hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr. Sinseerly, Peggy May Starlings PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me Taken at my last jobb . Employer's reply:...... Dear Peggy, It's OK honey, we've got spell check..... Welcome onboard!!! ***************** PUN There once was a guy named Arthur Twiddle. He was your ordinary, homeless street bum, and everyone called him Artie. He found a cozy area to live next to this huge mansion. Although he lived in a cardboard box, he would gather the crumbs from the owner of the mansion for food. The owner’s name was Mrs. Ralphs. Everything was fine up until Mrs. Ralphs decided to get a pet cat. Instead of throwing away food, she would feed it to her cat. Artie got real frustrated at this move, so he decided to rob her of all her money. One night, he snuck into her mansion, and found a huge safe hidden behind a plant. He noticed that it had been recently opened, and not completely shut. With anticipation, he forced open the safe, and to his surprise, and disappointment, there was only one dollar. He screamed out with rage, " ONE STINKING DOLLAA!!!, HOW CHEAP!" The butler came in, and threatened to report the police. Artie, being afraid, instinctively choked the butler to death. Then the maid came in, and screamed at the sight of the dead body. Artie then impulsively choked her to death as well. Mrs. Ralphs finally entered the room and told Artie that she had called the police already. The sounds of the police sirens were already audible. Artie realizing that he couldn’t escape, choked Mrs. Ralphs to death too. The police busted in in and arrested Artie. Many reporters were there and Artie made the front headlines of the National Newspaper. It read: "Artie chokes three for one dollar at Ralphs" ***************** Strange News MEXICO CITY (UPI) -- Three Mexican fishermen have been found alive and healthy in the southern Pacific Ocean after more than nine months lost at sea. Salvador Ordonez, Jesus Eduardo Vidana and Lucio Rendon Becerra said they survived by drinking rainwater and eating seabirds and raw fish, the Los Angeles Times reported Wednesday. "Sometimes our stomachs would hurt, because we would go up to 15 days without eating," Vidana said. "There were times when we had only one bird to share among the three of us." The three men, all in their mid 20s, departed from the small fishing hamlet of El Limon, about 425 miles northwest of Mexico City, in October. They planned be gone for two or three weeks, but were carried away by strong winds and currents. The boat's two outboard motors were disabled. The men were found Tuesday by a Taiwanese tuna fishing boat more than halfway to Australia , the Times said. The men, who were reportedly sunburned and skinny, but otherwise healthy, remained on the boat Wednesday and were expected to return to land in 10 to 14 days. ************************************* Unusual facts A crocodile can't move its tongue and cannot chew. Its digestive juices are so strong that it can digest a steel nail. Tea is said to have been discovered in 2737 BC by a Chinese emperor when some tea leaves accidentally blew into a pot of boiling water. The tea bag was introduced in 1908 by Thomas Sullivan of New York. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow the film down so you could see his moves! That's the opposite of the norm. Barbie Doll's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk. *******************************************
Riddle answer /		Brain Teaser answer
A Peanut *****************/		It was the Maid. She said she was getting the mail. There is no mail on Sunday! *****************/
Say What ?? translated /		Latin Corner translated
Let sleeping dogs lie. *****************/		The best teacher is a good book *****************/
Celebrate 21 First House of Recycled Products 1973 Lincoln-Douglas debates began 1858 Hawaii became 50^th state 1959 2017 Next total solar eclipse visible from North America 22 First Female Newspaper Editor 1762 The “Savannah” –first American steamship to cross the Atlantic- launched 1818 1851 Gold fields discovered in Australia 1906 1st Victor Victrola manufactured 23 1617 1st one-way streets established (London) Women’s Rights Convention 1850 Comic Strip “Gasoline Alley” first appeared 1919 1960 World's largest frog (3.3 kg) caught (Equatorial Guinea) 1966 Lunar Orbiter 1 takes 1st photograph of Earth from Moon Romania : Liberation Day (1944-1990) Swaziland : Umhlanga Day	Celebrate 24 Fall of Rome 410 Amelia Earhart made nonstop transcontinental flight 1932 Mt Vesuvius erupted in Italy 79AD President Lincoln received first coast to coast telegram from Sacramento-1861 1853 1st potato chips prepared by Chef George Crum (Saratoga Springs, NY) Liberia : Flag Day (1847) Sierra Leone : President's Birthday 25 National Park Service Founded 1916 City of New Orleans founded 1718 1940 1st parachute wedding France : Liberation Day (1944) Paraguay : Constitution Day (1967) Uruguay : Independence Day (1825) 26 Women’s right to vote (9^th amendment went into effect) 1920 Namibia : Namibia Day US : Women's Equality Day (1973)/Susan B Anthony Day (1920) Zanzibar : Sultan's Birthday		Celebrate 27 America’s first oil well drilled near Titusville, Pennsylvania 1859 1912 Edgar Rice Burroughs' publishes Tarzan Gibralter : Late Summer Bank Holiday 28 Martin Luther King’s Famous “I have a dream” Speech Henry Hudson discovered Delaware Bay 1609 First American speeding ticket issued – in Newport RI 1904 Hong Kong : Festival of Hungry Ghosts Jordon : Arab Renaissance Day Laos : Mauritius : Ganesh Chatturthi 29 Fall of the Incan Empire 1533 1896 Chop suey invented in NYC by chef of visiting Chinese Ambassador Korean War’s largest Air raid, 1952 Czecoslovakia : Slovak National Uprising Day
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LEONA’S BRAIN CANDY