(Authors note: I apologize for the spelling of 'mgflt', but that is the closest I
could come to the sound made when gulping the leaves down. Also,
this alien could eat many leaves that would taste bad or even kill a
human. No human child should ever eat anything unless a parent
says it is safe.)
I’m in trouble. Grounded.
I mean really grounded. Dad
kicked me right off the spaceship.
Said it would do me good. Told
me I had to learn about these stupid things called leaves.
Well I won’t do it! I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!
This is such a stupid planet.
I bet leaves are stupid, too.
I wonder what leaves are? - not that I care!
I just want to know what to ignore.
This book Dad gave me will help..... Here they are: “flat green
parts of plants where nutrition is created and homeostasis is
maintained.” Ick!
Just like I thought- really boring.
It
is so unfair! It really
wasn’t my fault, and then my sister had to go tell on me, and here I
am on this dull green planet looking for flat green things where
nutrition is made! Life is
so unfair!
Wait
a minute. Everything here
is green. Are all these
things leaves? These long
skinny things, are they leaves? Yes,
they are grass-monocot. Wow,
look at these little parallel lines in this grass.
It says here they are veins that carry nutrition.
Nutrition?? I wonder
how they taste- the book doesn’t say they are poison –mgflt.
It
tastes okay I guess. Look
at the way this leaf wraps around the grass plant, hmmm.... the book
says it is a sessile type leaf.
Those green things look way different, flat, pointy, what are
these lines- oh, veins like in the grass, but not parallel.
These veins meet at the bottom of the center. The natives call it
palmate because it is shaped like the palm of their hand.
What a strange shape for a hand, but it takes all kinds to make a
universe. Mgflt- now this
is more like it. These
taste pretty good.
Lets
look at this book again. Hmm, needle shaped leaves.
That plant over there, ugh, a bit sticky and prickly.
Ooh, what a nice smell. Mgflt- now this is what I call nutrition.
I think I’ll fill my pockets with these.
This book has some really good stuff.
I wonder where I’ll find some of these pinnate things- over
here, let’s see, yeah one long vein with many coming off it.
Mgflt- gag! Spit! Choke! Yuck,
none of those, thank you. Spit! Choke! Spit!
I don’t like pinnate leaves.
***************************
Back
to the book - hey there are strange shapes to these leaves. This is called entire- wonder what that means.
Hmm. smooth margins, no holes- mgflt- not bad
And
these have sharp points along the leaves-ouch- that’s called toothed.
Mgflt yum! I know
what those teeth are for, to keep those leaves from predators like me,
let’s stuff some more into this pocket. Wow!
What
else does this book have? Let’s
see, scale leaves. Those
look mostly look like flat pieces stuck together. Mgflt - mmm I’ll
have to grab a few handfuls of these for later.
What’s next, wavy leaves? They're like toothed, but not so
sharp- mgflt - not as tasty either.
Well,
lobed leaves, I wonder what a lobe is.
This one matches the picture.
Looks like the bugs have already eaten most of it - nope,
that’s its real shape. Mgflt
- not too bad, but could use a sprinkle of magnesium.
Compound
leaves, that is like a whole family of leaves on one stem, if you go for
small families. It looks
like only 9 on this stem. Mgflt- ooh, now that is a strange taste.
Mgflt. I think I like it.
This planet has some really tasty leaves. I wouldn’t mind staying here a
while. This is more like a
day at the candy store than a punishment.
Let’s see, compound leaves are divided into two groups, pinnate
and palmate. Pinnate was
that long vein with other veins going into it, so pinnate compound must
be what I just ate, a long vein with many leaf blades connected to it.
Palmate compound must be that funny palm shape veins with several
blades attached. I wish I
could find one to taste, but I don’t see any.
If compound means many leaf blades, do they have a word for one?
Yes, here it is, the other leaves are simple.
************************
Well, I might as well look at this book again; there are
only 4 terms I haven’t looked for yet.
They are how a leaf is attached to a branch- by a petiole, hmm.
Those parts don’t taste too good. I throw them out.
Opposite, here is a leaf like the picture.
The leaves hook two to the same place, one on each side of the
branch- yumm, yumm- the branch isn’t too bad, but the leaves are
better.
This one is called alternate - one leaf after another on
opposite sides of the branch. - tasty.
Whorled- these leaves form a circle of leaves around the branch
-one circle after another, all the way up.
Ah, here one is. Pretty,
but not as tasty as some I’ve tried.
The
last type is called a rosette. It
is a circle of leaves around the base of the stalk.
Here’s one - mgflt. Wow!
Ooh! Aah! Yummy! I need to find some more of those. That is the most
incredible mgflt- thing I have ever mgflt- tasted mgflt-.
***********************************
When Dad came to get me I felt pretty good.
It had been a fun day with many delicious moments.
My digestive organs were full, and I had stashed every pocket
full of personal treats. I’d
forgotten how much I hated my sister, and how unfair life had become.
I’d even forgotten to pretend I hadn’t obeyed.
Dad curled his legs to be shorter than me.
That meant I wasn’t in trouble anymore.
His eyes had an unusual flicker as he asked if I could find him a
rosette leaved plant. I’d
walked a lot that day, so we weren’t too far from a patch.
Dad munched a few, and then asked how many I’d eaten.
After an embarrassed moment I told him.
After munching a few more rosettes, Dad told me his story:
“I was about your age when my dad grounded me to this
planet for a week. He
thought it would teach me not to take everything for granted, having to
find my own food. But on
this planet, almost everything is not only edible, but also delicious.
I returned fat and happy, but so glad to be home.
Having plenty of food left me too much time to think what life
would be like without my family. I never took them for granted after that.
"Life gets pretty crowded now and then on a spaceship.
A day alone once in a while is good for a body. Tomorrow we’ll
all come down and gather provisions.
"Let’s
pick a feast to share with our family tonight.
Wait until you taste what your Mom does to those needle
things.”
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